Anger, what is it? Where does it come from? I had to do some research myself. Wikipedia give a very concise interpretation here. Lets do a quick exercise. You might want to make sure you are in a place that people can't see you. They might think you are a tad bit nuts. You have to do this, because you need to get the full effect before you read this article.

Ok. Let's get started. I want you to think of something that is horrible, something that really gets your blood boiling. Don't go any further until you get that picture. Maybe it is a death of a loved one, or the war in Iraq.  Maybe it is something that has happened to you personally. Now, start to think about it. Get caught up in your emotions. Start to think about all the bad things that have happened from the event or series of events. STOP READING and think about. I mean it, stop reading!

Let me tell you what gets me angry. My wife went through complete hell as a child. She had a father that abused her mentally, physically and sexually. In my mind, I can just picture that scared little girl, hiding behind a couch when her totally drunk asshole of a father came home, looking for someone to beat the hell out off. I can picture him pulling her by her hair from behind the couch, and punching her in the stomach. Hitting her everywhere on her body where it could not be seen. I picture a little girl up in her room crying with bruises all over her body, shaking with fear, rocking back and forth as her mom and dad continue to yell down in the kitchen. As the yelling stops, she can hear him coming up the stairs. She prays that he will go to bed and just pass out, but he doesn't. He opens her door and begins to perform sexual acts on her. He smacks her when she starts to cry. He tells her that he will beat her if she doesn't stop crying and he will kill her if she tells anyone. I wish I could go back in time and break down that door and beat the living hell out of that sorry excuse of a man.

I realize it is hard to keep reading after that, but we are going too. First I want you to notice your physical body right now. Do you feel that sick feeling in your stomach? Are you slumped over? Are your fists clenched? Did it give you a slight headache? Well, let's get out of this state.

I want you to sit up in your chair. Take a couple of slow deep breaths. With each breath, I want you to feel like the anger leaves with each breath. I know it sounds a bit stupid, but trust me. Feel yourself calming down. I want you to replace your bad thoughts with something good. Once again, you need to stop and think of that thought….  Get yourself caught up in the moment. Close your eyes and experience it.

I am thinking about my three children. I can see them chasing each other the living room. I can hear their deep belly laughs when one gets caught and the other two starts to tickle them. I see their mouths wide open, smiling from ear to ear. Boy does that make me feel good. They are so innocent. Their love and laughter is so genuine.

Alright, time for my 2 cents. What did we just do here? I took you from being totally angry to completely happy in a matter of seconds. How can we use this in our daily life? Everyone that has read my story about happiness has asked me to tell you about the incident in the car. So here it is. I was driving home from work. I remember it like it was yesterday. My day was horrible. Nothing seemed to go right. I finally got out of work. It was extremely hot out. It takes my vehicle a long time to cool down, so I had my windows open. I had just left my office, and BAM. I was in traffic. Immediately I felt the anger starting to well up inside of me. Within seconds I started yelling at the top of my lungs at the person in front of me. It was his entire fault. It was at that moment, I saw myself in the rearview mirror. My mouth was wide open. It was like I was looking at someone else. That was when it hit me. I was no longer in control of myself. I knew that I needed to do something. I have to admit, traffic still has its way of starting to make my blood boil, but now I know how to defeat it. I start to do that old ancient practice of THINKING.

I start to think about the situation. I understand that this traffic is only going to last only a short time. If the traffic lasts longer, I try to think what I can do to make this time productive. This is free time for me to accomplish anything. I can read a book. I can catch up on some work. If I am really angry, I do the little trick I spoke about in the article. I go to my happy place. I start to think about a time that made me happy. I have even thought about my wife and me making love. That just put a smile on my face now. I wander what she is doing tonight? Use whatever works for you. The key here is to use your God given talent of THINKING. These things may take you some time to get you in a better state, but we are talking about breaking your old pattern, and starting a new pattern. For some of you, it may be simple, but some may have been in this pattern for a long time. Here are some books and Audio that I recommend. I just loved "The Dance of Anger".

The Dance of Anger (audio)

Change Your Brain, Change Your Life

Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way
Religious Based

Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More Out of Life

Power of now